and baby makes 6!

December

In early December of 1987 I went out on a date with this really sweet, surfer guy. He had blond hair, amazing blue eyes, and after dating for only one week, he bought me a gorgeous outfit from The Limited. And it fit. And it was cute. Holy cow, a man with good taste!

He phoned me several times each day after our first date, and invited me to come to his house to decorate his Christmas tree, which I did.

For the next 3 months, he wanted to be with me constantly, and I loved every minute of it. He would show up at my apartment after a winter surfing session, and warm up while snuggling with me.

We did everything together and I knew from the start that he was “the one”.

Then one week, the phone calls were strained, and by Friday, he made it known that he wanted to see other people.

I was hurt, but I did not react strongly. I hugged him and wished him the best. He left on a 2 week business trip and I thought, “that’s that”.

The phone calls continued. Daily.

On his return, he called and wanted to see me. I agreed and he came over.

He explained that he was terrified. Commitment was looming. I had been looking for another apartment, and he said “I wanted to ask you to move in with me, and I scared myself”.

We would go through this 2 more times in the coming weeks and in the end, instead of crying to him and calling him when we split, I got fed up and took a job training animals in Florida.

I remember one conversation in particular during those weeks, while we did this back and forth dance. I was pissed, and had asked him to stop calling me:

Him: Well, I want to stay friends

Me: My friends wouldn’t treat me like this.

Him: Well, I am sorry I ruined your life.

Me: (laughing) Ruined my life? Don’t flatter yourself. I’m just a bit sad.

Him: (mumbling) Oh, um, I’m not flattering myself..um.

We stayed in touch while I lived in Florida and he even flew me home once for a visit. He asked me to move home, because he loved me…..one month later he was cold again and unsure. Back and forth, back and forth.

I hated Florida (well, not actually Florida itself, but hated Florida without him) and wanting to move back to Texas. My mother told me if I moved home, I could live with them and they would pay for me to go back to school in Ft. Worth. I remember telling her “Mom, I can’t get him back living in Ft. Worth”.

Upon my return, we resumed our relationship.

I am sure you are asking why was this man so terrified of relationships? Why didn’t you dump him Jody???

I just couldn’t. I mean, he was so damn nice. So cute. So normal. I just loved the hell out of him.

He had reason to be terrified. He had been married before to his high school sweetheart. Actually, they had been together since they were 13. He was married to her for almost 9 years when she killed herself. Their relationship had been very difficult…..married at 19, immature. They both did things that destroyed the marriage. When she killed herself, they were in the process of starting a divorce.

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life ~The Fray

It shattered him. It shattered her family. It shook the whole town…a town full of people that had watched them grow up together.

I remember that it broke my heart, and I didn’t even know them then. It was in December of 1986 when I walked into a marine park and applied for a job. A job that unbeknownst to me, she had held for many years prior to her death 3 weeks earlier. I got the job training birds and dolphins, and became fast friends with the head trainer, who told me all about their story.

Throughout the year, the trainer and I would go out, and he would tell me about that surfer guy and what a great person he was. We would often see him out on Friday and Saturday night, and my trainer friend finally introduced us, hoping we would hit it off. I was reluctant, due to his past. I mean, come on!! That is some serious stuff there. My friend would reassure me and tell me, “You will really like him. He is such a nice guy.”

It took that surfer guy almost a year to ask me out. He finally did that December of 1987.

In December of 2006 the surfer guy and I celebrated 19 years of togetherness. And yes, you were right Doug, he really is a nice guy.

This December also marked the 20 year anniversary of Bill’s first wifes death. He didn’t talk about it. We have never told the kids about her. They do not know that when we go to Galveston and visit with Dad’s best friend, that he is actually his ex brother in law. They love Uncle Bubba and he loves them.

December comes around every year and we are reminded of what was lost, and what was found.

And I often wonder if the deep rooted desire to work with dolphins, that I have had since I was a small child, was planted there to lead me to that job and to this amazing man.

Because, you know, there are no coincidences. No random acts or happenings. Only destiny.